3 lessons from 12 guys

Henry FondaI have a very complex method for deciding whether a movie is good or bad. I take a good night’s sleep after watching it and if the film crosses my mind during brushing my teeth the following morning, I know it really touched me. If not, the movie was indifferent for me. This is my kind-of inner imdb, but not with a rating of 10 points, but with a simple 1-0 switch.

“12 Angry Men” was there with me while brushing my teeth today morning. No matter how hard my cute 1-year-old boy tried scratching my legs for attention, that 1957 movie occupied my mind for long minutes. It is typically the kind of movie I miss recently, filled with pure powerful conversations and amazing actors. No fancy stuff, no tricks, no nothin’.

While these 12 guys transformed for 90 minutes on the screen, I had a chance to reflect on my own conflict management skills. I re-lived how brave it can be when you stand up for your own truth (no matter how many disagree with you) and how seldom I do it publicly in my life. It’s always easier to shut up and float with the masses, but there are situations when you cannot (should not) shut up. Say what your inner voice is saying and don’t let the voice of others mute you just because it’s comfortable. Let’s say that’s reminder number one.

Reminder number two: conflicts are part of human existence, they are there to solve problems, make decisions, but not for judging each other. As the good old internet-age proverb says: “It is you and me vs. the problem. Not you vs. me.” So easy to understand, but so hard to do sometimes. Way too hard on a bigger scale, but I believe with this rule humanity could move mountains. Or planets. Peacefully. Till then, we just stick to wars I guess, but hopefully one day we learn that there are no real winners in any war anyways.

Speaking of big stuff. Reminder number three: Do not underestimate your heart’s power! Grandiose positive changes can come true by one courageous soul. Just one human being, standing up for his / her truth. In this movie one guy changed the way 11 other loud & arrogant men were thinking and also saved the life of a teenage boy. What if? What if that table is a bit bigger and we don’t have 12 angry men, but 7 billion? What if that brave man is not alone but we have one in each city around Earth? What if I say with such a brave army we could avoid star wars and start walking towards star hugs instead?

Just asking.